Your Goal Should Be Confidence & Happiness

A lot of people set unrealistic fitness goals that knock their self-esteem and batter their confidence. This post will help you set realistic fitness goals and will show you why you shouldn't be so damn hard on yourself!

I used this photo to prove a point


Right from the word go I'm going to have a lil crack at social media, especially Instagram

Now I quite like IG, Facebook and Youtube. I think they're revolutionary and a HUGE asset to my business, but they have their downsides

On Instagram everyone's a model. Everyone's half-naked, photoshopped, spray-tanned and drives a Mercedes G-wagon

As we scroll through our newsfeed and see all these stunners posing on beaches in Bali or eating smoothie bowls, we instantly say to ourselves:

"Why don't I look like that?"

"Why isn't that me?"

I use Instagram girls as an example, but we all do it

Hey, look at me. As a small business owner, I follow a lot of personal trainer mentors and entrepreneurs and I'm forever seeing headlines like "my client Mathew made 22.4k in sales last month" or "After just 6 months, my client Claire bought her third gym"

"Why isn't that me?" I say to myself

This headspace is a dangerous place to be in. Constantly seeing images like this can destroy your mindset if you allow it

So, ladies, right from the word go I want you to stop looking at these women and thinking less of yourself


Secondly, I want you to really think hard about what your fitness goal is

I've had so many people approach me with the intention of getting super lean, Hollywood toned and a stomach like so-and-so from Instagram

But are these goals actually realistic?

I mean for one, the women you see on Instagram don't actually look like the women you see on Instagram

Cheap apps and simple camera lighting can do amazing things for someone's appearance in a photo

I hate to break it to you, but your "Instagram crush" won't look like that in person

What you see in photos is a teeny tiny snapshot of the whole story

What you won't see often are the stretch marks, cellulite or unshaved legs

Hey, it's no difference to the Mc Donalds burger ads and the real deal!

And hey, there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with the burger on the right! I'm still salivating slightly

All I'm saying is don't set goals that are impossible to attain (:

And try and follow the accounts where the influencer is being as genuine and transparent as possible. The @thefoodmedic is the first one that pings to mind


Finally ladies, I just want to try and help you create realistic and attainable fitness goals

I want you to imagine for a moment a Risk board. You've got your territories and your little men all ready to place on your countries

As you're scanning the board you want to place as many troops in areas that are most important to you. So you start placing lots in Australia and South America

After you've hit the main territories you start popping the odd man in Nepal and Madagascar for shits and gigs and to try and wind up your partner who's obviously trying to take Africa

(You can see I played a lot of Risk over the Christmas holidays)

Now I want you to imagine that that Risk board is your life, each of those troops signifies one hour of your day and each territory is one of your weekly commitments

Now you, a 35-year-old mum of two, with a full-time job, dog, amazing friends and husband have got to spread your troops pretty thin right?

I mean, straight away you've already moved 2 cannons and a handful of men to your territory named "children"

Logically the dogs, friends and husband get a few. Your job gets a tonne and so does sleep

Now, what are you left with?

Maybe a couple dusty little men if you're lucky

And you turn around and say "I want to look like a Hollywood film star"


Of course it is do-able, but that might mean moving a few troops from another territory. Maybe even sacrificing Madagascar completely

The problem is, people underestimate how long and how much effort is really required to reach such a big goal

When they set such big goals, and then don't reach them. They then start getting down and upset with themselves for not achieving what they set out to do

They spread themselves too thin and blame themselves

When your husband attacks you from South Africa with 10 troops against your 2 in Madagascar. Your chances are SUPER LOW, right?

So the message I'm trying to convey is don't get down, or beat yourself up when your fitness goal and fat loss results aren't coming as quickly as you first hoped

The half-naked Instagrammers you see in bikinis and in the gym every day, you've got to remember, that's ones of their main priorities... it might even be their job!


At the end of the day. Do you really want to look like that? I mean really..

When I was around the age of 16-22 I lived and breathed the gym

I had little responsibilities and loads of free time to train

I was also obsessed with being muscly and lean. I lived off broccoli chicken and barely ate any of my favourite "junk foods"

Fast forward a few years to this Christmas and I'm sat there in a swarv new Turkish restaurant with a few close friends who started training at the same age as me

We were talking about the gym and I was telling them that I train a bit less now and eat a bit more flexibly

I told them that I enjoyed it so much more! Being lean 24/7 was fun when I was 18, but screw it nowadays!

Sam, who was sitting opposite me said exactly the same thing. He explained that after his second baby was born he only went to the gym once a week and trained at home when he could

He said he was much happier now. Maybe he had the tiniest bit more fluff now, or a fraction less strength, but did he care? Did we care? Did I even notice?!?

Not at all.

(By the way, that night we all got completely sh*tfaced in Spoons and gorged on kebabs until 3 in the morning.. definitely something I wouldn't be doing when I was 21)


In 2020, I want you to pick realistic fitness goals

I want you stop beating yourself up when you don't look like a superimposed image of a woman on a screen

I want you to realise that your life doesn't necessarily revolve around the gym and that's okay!!

Your goal should be to train to feel better and more confident

You should go to the gym or exercise because it makes you happier!

Being super lean and having abs is f*cking boring!

Find a weight where you're confident and happy and believe me, nothing else matters

So screw what IG girls are doing and just focus on you. Life will be much better that way I promise (:

Thank you so much for reading!

Oh, and can you please do me a favour? If this post benefited you in any way, could you please take 2 seconds just to share it with your friends on Facebook

Even if this post could help one person on your friends list you'd be making a difference (:

Hey! Thanks for reading! As a thank you, I've put together a FREE Starter bundle to help get you into exercise! Just click on the link and pop in your email! I wish I was given this when I first started training!